O Deepness

O Deepness,
You pull me inward and downward
Without leaving me much of a break 

In truth, I must admid
That when you are not there
I truly miss you

I cannot be long without you
For you give me the intensity
And the worthyness of my life

When you’re not there
I long for you
I long for the sense of living you give to me

Within you lie the deepest feelings
I’m capable of feeling
You make me vibrant with life

Everytime you take me with you
Deep within myself
I discover new ones

New feelings
New intensities
New nurishment …

Each one is a new invitation 
To go even further
To go deeper within …

After each journey
I need to rest for awhile
But very quickly, I start missing you

Is it me who is longing for you
Or is it you who are calling?
Whathever it is, it is always me …

Oh Deepness, Soul of mine
You make it all worthwhile
Whatever the feeling you awaken in me

Whether it is unexplainable sorrow or grief
Groundless love or deep friendship in which I lose myself
Unbearable aloneness in which I must meet and discover myself

Tears from the deepest well
Unspeakable and almost unbearable joys
Feelings impossible to share … except with myself

Feelings so intens I sometimes feel my body is too small to bear them
But then I become bigger that my body, bigger than myself
Just to be able to experience them

And then, beyond that limit of myself
I am given to understand what it is all for
Beyond myself, all the little things within myself get a meaning

Beyond myself I am given to see the greater picture
The why’s and the hows …
And then a calmness … a pureness … a love … and my being is filled with gratitude

O Deepness, Soul of mine
No wonder I so long for you …
You make me alive beyond my own life … like eternity …



Look for the love in everything
Look deep
Look deeper
It is always there!

That’s why we are here!

♥ (kp)


Ochtendherinneringen …

Aan de linkerkant
De Zon die door de wolkjes priemt
Aan de rechterkant
De Maan nog hoog
Groepjes duiven cirkelen in het rond
Hanen geven elkaar het weerwoord
Alles is zo stil en rustig …

De koele wind herinnert aan de nacht
Een bewogen nacht met hevig onweer
De donkerte van de nacht verlicht door bliksem als opeenvolgende momenten van eeuwigheid 
En overspoeld en wakker gewaaid door verkwikkend neerstortend levenswater
Stappen en stemmen in de nacht
Sommigen angstig, anderen gierend en tierend, nog anderen stomdronken
Allen vluchtend voor het gietende heilige nat

Vluchtend voor wat …
Angstig voor wat …
Klaarwakker en de herinnering van gisteren nog levendig
Waarin ik in een stortval van regen haast stond te dansen
Springlevend, mijn hart bonzend van geluk
Genietend van de bliksems en het gebulder van de hemel
Voelde ik mijn batterijën opladen … een energie in mij mee oplaaien …

Luisterend naar de geluiden in de nacht
Voel ik de frisse bijna kille wind op mijn lichaam
Gewiegd door de kracht van de natuur 
Voel ik mij gevoed, gedragen en veilig … 
En enigszins uitgedaagd … of geïnspireerd … 
Maar heel zeker verbonden met de Krachten van de Goden
En val diep in een verkwikkende slaap …


Nothing Else Matters …

Inside the womb
A pain and a sadness
A strength and determination at the same time

Knowing my mother wasn’t too happy
To have me coming …
Still I had to come

Only still an embryo
I already strongly felt
My mothers apprehension

But I knew I had to come
So I stayed
For my sake as well as hers … and even for Life’s sake

It took me years
Almost 50 years to realise
Where this unexplainable sadness came from

Till I realised 
It was from even before my birth …
I needed time to integrate this new knowledge

Since then I have learned that this pain was necessary
That this hardness from life was needed 
For me to search for the deepest strength in me

That strength that comes from beyond me and my little story
That strength that brought me to a much deeper and larger story 
A story I still have to discover and uncover …

Inside the womb
I took one step already
To awakening to a deeper power and strength

Still conscious then
It became unconscious as I took my first breath of air …
It took me half a lifetime to rediscover that strength

Thank You, Mother!
For being that strong mother
Capable of teaching me this lesson!

For it is not an easy task
To be that mother
An ungrateful and ungracious task it seems …

But I’m not blind for that precious gift you gave to me
You are like Mother Earth
That sometime needs to shake and scare …

I know you didn’t do it on purpose, then, so many years ago
But that’s not important
I know you see me now

You see me as life made me
And you gave me life
Nothing else matters 

I love you, Mother!







Art: Katy Pylyser – Inside the Womb