It Hurts The Hell Out Of Me

It is too full a feeling
To be caught into words
Even the word “sadness” isn’t quite accurate

It is a pain filled with all kinds of feelings
A pain coming from the fullest feeling in life
And we call it love

Just a four letter word …
To try to symbolise
A feeling and a depth unconceivable

Yet so very true …

There is a sadness
That knows no words
Only tears

One must feel it
Live it
Taste it

It tastes salty and bitter
At the same time
And even sweet in a way

I guess it must be the taste of life
Lived deeply and fully
Without restraint

But not the outer life
With the rushes
And the so called strong emotions

But the inner life
So much stronger and deeper
The only real life

With feelings that are unspeakable
They’re more like experiences than feelings really
A realm of it’s own

A whole cosmos even
With suns rising
And moons to howl at

Like the wolf lost in the howl
Overwhelming and so powerful
It contains all wolfness

That’s the kind of experience I’m talking about
Not a sad feeling but Sadness itself …
Not a loving feeling but Love itself …

The word is only trying to point the finger
In a direction only the experiencer knows
From within …

Only the wolf knows his howl from within
For being it’s creator
And disappearing in it …

…

I love the way I am able to feel …
It hurts the hell out of me …
Literally !!

😝

Katy Pylyser 16-02-2018