Although spring is in the air …

Although spring is in the air
I grow increasingly silent and weary
As if it were autumn
Within me

With a feeling of melancholy
A mild despair
Mild not because it wouldn’t feel so strong
But rather because it is already so well known

As an old friend
Coming to visit me again
But he wasn’t really
Ever away

Yet he reminds me
Of that feeling of despair
That carries a strange kind of hope within
One that cannot be said

That kind of hope
Or maybe it is rather courage
That makes me carry on
Being who I am

One has to be
Always at the edge
Of both courage and despair
To truly be oneself

It is at the crossroad of both
That one discovers
What it truly means
To love …

It is that kind of love
That makes me discover
Who i really am
In spite of (and thanks to) that despair

Although spring is in the air
I grow increasingly silent and weary
It is that time again
The time of growing … within

It’s not really autumn after all
But rather the end of the winter
Where seeds start to grow
But still in the dark

The end of winter
Has that kind of courage
That carries hope within
A knowing from within

It is that kind of hope
Where one has no choice
But to carry on …
Being oneself …

At the crossroad of courage and despair
There is a kind of cristal-clear self-evident knowing
For just one moment
Of who I am …

❤

Katy Pylyser 12-03-2018